Hooray! The weekend is FINALLY coming!!!! I can't wait for Friday after school!
Anyway, I guess I'm just procrastinating because I'm supposed to be doing my homework right now... but I donwanna. So there. >:/
Haha, there's nothing deep, negative, positive, or profound to say today. Just "happy." XD I just feel like writing about nothing at the moment.... Hm Hm.
Meh. The dance is on Saturday. I don't really regret not going... I didn't feel like it'd be that fun this year b/c barely anyone of my close friends were going... and the ones who were were going separately, which left just normal friends. Of course there are close friends in the group that is going, but.. idk. It's too small, I guess. I'm socially awkward, k??? Geez... I gotta work on that.
Thinking about social normalities, what is normal when speaking to someone you know but not very well? Is it ok to just go up and talk to them one day even if all you've done before is smile and say hi before walking away or moving on? For months? Maybe for a year or so? Or is that just weird? How do you gradually get to know someone better? Or does it just have to be an abrupt breakthrough of the wall that divides people and only THEN can you eventually become close friends?
Woah. A paragraph of questions.... sorry. I guess I got a bit carried away with these thoughts...
But I have more...
Like...
Are there people that you just get along instantaneously, like you were MEANT to be friends, or is it possible to befriend anyone you meet, as long as they're reasonable, amiable people, and if you make an effort to become friends with that person? To be honest sometimes I look at students in my classes or in the halls and wonder if that acquaintence can ever be more than an acquantence. If I talked to her everyday and got to know her better, and her me, then would the possibility of being the type of friends who go over each other's houses and have sleepovers be opened? Or would it amount to nothing and we'd remain good "school" friends? I feel like the second option is the most probable... I just feel like some people's personalities and mine are not very compatible... and that it takes very tolerant and accepting people to be my friend. >_<
But that makes me sad, because I WANT that possibility to be open, even if it remains just a possibility. I'd be sad to see that the way I currently see things is the truth.
I suppose the only way to find out is to just try.
Ah well. Back to my homework.
Some Tunes to Listen to as You Read :)
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2 comments:
That limbo of someoneyouknowbutnotreallybutwewaveateachotherandsometimestalk or weusedtobefriendsbutwehaven'ttalkedinsolongwoulditbeweirdtorandomlytalktoheragain are really confusing.
I was really disappointed earlier this year when I realized that I conscioulsy avoided talking to people I used to tell my deepest secrets and we'd giggle about boys and inside jokes.
Just yesterday I was standing waiting for a ride home and a woman, I think she's a teacher, walked past me intensely, with her head and eyes locked firmly on the ground. I was tempted to say hello. To tell her to have a good evening. I stood there for sometime thinking about the possibilites of what I could have said to her. I thought about how she would have responded. I thought about what I could have said may have impacted her, even if just a little, or maybe not. I felt cold inside after she walked by. I said a prayer for her asking God to give her a drive home with lots of green lights and a happy evening at home with her family.
Anyway, since realizing that I avoided people in that confusing grey area, I've started to smile at them, to wave in the hallways, to talk, even if it's just to ask the homework. And we've grown to be friends again. Nothing like what we were. Because we've both changed, and it's okay, we're just not as compatible as we once were. But it's nice to know that there are good feelings between us, even if they go no further than our little catch-up chats and smiles in the hallway.
I've started to strike up conversations with people who have lockers near mine. I don't know that I really had a particular reason for doing it other than for its own sake. I wanted to brighten their day. Maybe I just wanted someone to talk to. I can only speculate as to their feelings, but so far so good. I'm meeting new people and keeping casually in touch with some old. It's nice, really. I see their eyes light up and smiles brighten their faces. I love seeing people happy because inside I feel happy too.
So I say hi. No matter how unlikely, I can always hope that somehow in someway I've made soem difference, even if it was only a smiling face and a friendly hello at their locker, because I know, that no matter to what degree, they've changed mine in one way or another.
my grammar in that comment was awful. please don't judge me.
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